Now I Have Seen It All

I wrote a few days ago about how we are all still suffering from some lingering gastro-intestinal issues after our Haiti trip. I remain committed to not discussing poop on my blog, but suffice it to say that my family is single-handedly keeping Immodium Chewables in business right now.

Anyways, I was joking with Mark last night about how bad I was feeling. I wish that if I was gonna get sick with some foreign parasite, it would be the kind that made me lose lots of weight. I mean, if I'm gonna feel lousy, why not a tapeworm? Why not something that gives me the ability to eat whatever I want and get really skinny?


I was joking, people. But, then I mused, I wonder if people actually do that on purpose?


Turns out they do. You can read all about The Tapeworm Diet online. For the low price of $1099.95, you too can travel to Tijuana and get infected with a sanitized tapeworm that will empty your intestine of all fat, calories, and nutritional content. On purpose.

Side effects include loss of appetite or feeling of fullness, abdominal pain, weakness, headache, nausea, constipation, diarrhea, vomiting and spontaneous emergence of proglottids from the anal sphincter.


Um, wait. Is that last one what I think it is??
A piece of advice for anyone actually considering this: STOP SMOKING CRACK AND GET YOUR @$$ TO A GYM.




3 comments:

  1. R.O.F.L.

    I am Soooo going to go on that tapeworm diet. This solves ALL my problems. Thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Anonymous1:05 AM

    gross.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha Ha! I heard about this remedy. But sadly, i don't think it's for me. I guess my @$$ is finally headed out to the gym.

    ReplyDelete

talk to me.

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