Getting Real

Angel over at Voice of Adventure just posted this challenge on her blog:

The truth is I am SICK, SICK, SICK of people feeling all alone because they think everyone else is less screwed up than them. It's ridiculous. We all have our times we are flying high and our times we are doing a nose dive. Why do we all pretend? It's all a pack of lies wrapped in a bunch of arrogance. So I am going to give it my best shot and TRY to get real on this blog. This is a get real zone. No bull allowed.

I love it! Alright, I'm taking the challenge. For your Schaudenfraude pleasure, here is me, getting real:


I am online entirely too much, blogging or reading other people's blogs. I'm often sitting in front of the tv while I'm blogging. I hate this image of myself.

I do the "stuff and hide". If someone is coming over, I frantically hide messes in drawers, closets, and corners to try and pretend like I live a clutter-free existence.

If I found a Skittle on the floor of my car from a few weeks ago, I would probably eat it.

I am a horrible pastor's wife. I used to see Mark get approached for help, or prayer, or just a chat from a well-meaning congregant, and I would keep walking and pretend I didn't know him. I have done this at church and in Target on a number of occasions.

When I go running, I listen to music that is very naughty. I know it is inappropriate, and yet I find it helps me run faster. If someone knows the Christian equivalent to Rage Against the Machine, Snoop Dog, or Jay-Z, I am all ears. (and if you mention Audio Adrenaline or DC Talk you are permanantly banned from my blog).

I often wear the same outfit several days in a row, if it has no visible stains and I've deduced that I won't see the same people that I saw the day before.

I don't wear socks. EVER. It makes my shoes smell really bad.

Mark criticized the way I folded his clothes in 1997. I have never done his laundry since.

I am terrible at budgeting. Mark and I are great with the macro-finances (investing, no credit cards, etc) but horrible at the micro-finances. At any given time, I have no idea what is in our bank account. I don't balance my checkbook and we are usually dipping into our overdraft protection.

I pretend to be philisophically opposed to homeschooling, but in truth, I think it's probably a good thing. I just don't want to do it.

I would be truly happy to have 25-30% less time with my children, and look forward to the day when they go to kindergarten and I get some solo time back. I often feel guilty because we tried so hard to have children, only to feel like we want a break from them.

I get drained being around people. I hate this about myself. I am an introvert desperately trying to be an extrovert.

I wear heeled shoes that really hurt my feet, because they make my short legs look longer. I am frequently in pain due to my shoes.

Every 28 days, on the dot, I have a meltdown about my son's energy level and whine about how demanding and hard he is. My husband pointed out this embarrassing product of my PMS.

If I didn't pay Rosie to clean my house once a week, I think I would be living in filth.

Sometimes I think I continue working just so I can have something that forces me to wear "grown-up clothes" twice a week.

I do about a gazillion things as a mom that I judged other people for doing before I had kids.

Every time I watch a broadway show, I regret not pursuing musical theater. I still get audition notices and keep my headshot updated, as if I'm gonna get back in the game at any minute. Right.

I am crazy about my dental hygiene. I have left events early because there was something stuck in my teeth and I needed to go home and floss.

I refuse to get a minivan because I think it will make me look lame. Yeah, I am really that shallow.

19 comments:

  1. I drive around topless in my minivan. It gives a "cool factor."

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  2. Anonymous2:12 PM

    LOL on the running songs. My fave is Bleed it Out by Linkin Park. :)

    Oh, and homeschooling is a good thing, just not a good thing for every family.

    Jennifer

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  3. Let me just say that I do SEVERAL of these things but the one that I love the most is the minivan one. I have said to Anthony thousands of times that I REFUSE to drive a minivan and my car WILL be a mustang. PERIOD! HA HA :) It is lame if you ask me! I love the comment about driving topless. Moms gone wild. I love your blog so much! :)

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  4. Musically, try Lecrae for "harder" Christian rap (a 12 year old friend turned me on to it). (although I really like Eminem and Kanye West)

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  5. I think that you just read my mind! You and I are the same person! (except the broadway thing & I do love 80's metal bands like Def Leppard). Mer

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  6. I would probably eat that skittle too

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  7. ok, a few other things that I have been thinking about over the last day or so, a little more getting-real-ish than my earlier skittle comment...

    I also never wear socks. I have the stinkiest feet, EVER. It is sometimes embarrasing that my husband's feet smell better than mine do. It's not very ladylike, you know.

    Ashamedly, I will admit that I too have walked past people in target or at church pretending not to know them. I am so embarrassed to say that. Sometimes I can be so antisocial. It almost never has anything to do with that person and everything to do with either an insecurity of my own, or just a selfish desire to "keep to myself." Even though my husband and I met in Bible College, where we were both trained for "THE ministry," I have found myself secretly releived that I do not have to make the social sacrifices that a pastor or his wife would have to make. Very sick and selfish indeed.

    I hate rap music so couldn't recommend any profanity-free stuff. I think my music of choice for exercising might be something like MGMT (but they aren't exactly "nice" either). This, however, would only be applicable IF I chose to run. I always tell my friend (who runs marathons) that I hate running and could never be convinced to do it, but i secretly wish I had the guts and stamina to get out there and (to use a cheesy slogan) "just do it."

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  8. Anonymous11:03 AM

    i never wear sock. Problem isi wear converse all stars so they smell really bad

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  9. Hi Kristen! I'm a friend of your SIL, sarah, and I had to delurk to tell you that I LOVED this post, and felt myself saying, "check, check, check" to everything you listed. Thanks so much for sharing, I am glad I'm not the only one.

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  10. sometimes i think we are the same person.

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  11. hey, i'm bree & have been attending RH for 6 years and totally know who you guys are, but this is the first time i've read your blog. you speak my language, for sure. i LOVE the sheer honesty and think we'd be friends - ha! i remember years ago when mark was in the hospital coming to your house to help turn the garage into an office - it's the only howerton memory i have... hope to run into you guys soon.

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  12. Just found your blog through Red Letters. I LOVE it already. I have a uniform that I wear. Seriously, I can relate to 90% of this stuff.

    Aimee
    www.nealfamilyfive.blogspot.com

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  13. Holy CRAP! You seriously might be my soulmate! I found a months-old cadbury egg rolling around in my van, and happily ate it. I swore I would never drive a mini-van (which I do), made fun of homeschooling (which I now do- still make fun of it, though), love to run, and musical theatre is my passion. Since my kids are older we've been doing theatre together the past couple of years, which is awesome! I work part-time as a studio singer. I do the laundry, but I frankly love it. My husband does the cooking and the dishes. I wear the same outfit 2 or 3 days in a row, and feel ok about it, as long as I offer up the disclaimer, "BTW, I'm wearing the same thing you saw me in yesterday." Also, we're adopting from Ethiopia (http://webbsethiopianadoption.blogspot.com). SO looking forward to catching up on all your blogs. You rock!

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  14. I know this is an extremely delayed comment on your post, but I had to laugh about the running music. Just last night I was running to Missy Elliot & another song from Step Up - The Streets and thought - I should really listen to something else....nahhhh. Getcha' freak on! I'll now go check out Voice of Adventure because I moved to the real zone about a year ago & need to meet my neighbors.

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  16. OH.MY.GOSH -
    I cannot tell you how much I loved your honesty in this post. As a stay at home mom, I often feel "alone" and isolated...and maybe no one else feels the same way I do....HOWEVER, I can relate to so many things you said....THANK YOU! I laughed my head off at the "people wear me out..." TOTALLY ME! Along with the running songs....no one gets me going faster than 50 Cent...and I should be embarrased to admit it...
    This was probably an old post of yours, but I jsut found you off Jodie Howerton's blog.
    I LOVE YOUR BLOG!!!!

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  17. Christina6:22 AM

    La Crae and Grits are amazing christian rap artists. Toby Mac is fun "white guy" rap. P.O.D. is good, and I also really like Thousand Foot Crutch. I've also heard of the groups T-bone, Cross Movement, KJ-52, and Mandisa but have not listened to their songs.
    Hope that helps :)

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  18. Just wait until they are in HS-love them to death but my husband & I, and all our friends, have a countdown to college going.

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  19. Loved this. :)

    As to music, not sure if this brotha sounds like the artists listed above, but he jams... soulfully:
    Josh Garrels-
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCRULcbuaJc&feature=related

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talk to me.

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