like the end of pregnancy. but less bloating.

I feel like I am nine months pregnant today. I am moody and irritable. I am barely sleeping. I am nesting like crazy, and so, so anxious for our little one to get here.

Sometimes I feel like I'm handling this wait with grace. And other times . . . not so much. Like today, when I decided that I had to remodel the boys' room before Keanan gets home. (Did I really just say "boys' room"? As in plural? Wow. That feels weird.) I tried to patch some of the pain on the walls, only to use the wrong color and make a bigger project for myself. Then I went to Home Depot and bought a 6x6 area rug of astroturf to try to replicate this kitschy look I saw on apartment therapy, only to find an hour after placing it that Karis was crawling around the perimeter pulling "grass" pieces off the side and putting them into her mouth, rendering the carpet a certifiable choking hazard. It was a Bad News Bears kind of morning, that culminated with me calling my best friend in tears because I don't have a maternity bra to wear (left them all in Haiti) and because I can't fit the borrowed carseat in the car (left the carseat in Haiti) to get to the mall to get a new bra.

Don't judge me on the bra. I took it off because I was hunkering down for a good night's sleep out on the lawn of the embassy. . . little did I know I would be that way for the next 18 hours.

And really, we all know I wasn't crying about those things. I was crying about the earthquake, and the stress, and missing my son, and how tired I am, and how much anxiety I'm feeling. But those were the things that seemed unsurmountable in the moment. The bra. I was crying about a bra.

And not 15 minutes later, a friend showed up to take Karis and India. And another came and got Jafta. And another brought me a bra. And another brought me a carseat.

And then I cried some more.

Then this evening, a whole crew showed up and got all Extreme Home Makeover in the boy's room. We painted it bright green. With robots. IT IS AWESOME. And another friend put together some IKEA furniture, which might be the biggest sacrifice one friend can make for another.

And a little more crying. And some wine. And now . . . sleep.

I'm hoping tomorrow is gonna be a big day.




17 comments:

  1. What awesome, awesome friends you have! Praying that today is a much better day! Praying that you get the news you desire today and that Keanan will be on his way home in a matter of hours!

    ReplyDelete
  2. God bless them. I could kiss every last one of them. Wish I was there, helping.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ah, I'm all verklempt. I hope today is a big day too!

    ReplyDelete
  4. PTL for great friends. I think I'm going to cry with you. I pray that oday is an amazing day for your family! How crazy would it be for YOU to be waiting at the airport with signs this week?

    ReplyDelete
  5. i love this post...and especially the title...:)
    i have been following your blog about keenan...i am praying that today will be the day he gets on the plane. i am asking God for miracle for keenan today.

    much love,
    amy

    ReplyDelete
  6. awwwww...what awesome, incredible friends. and go easy on yourself...you ARE under incredible amounts of stress and it's okay to be all weepy and such :)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yay! And now I am crying. ;-) May today be the day!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Praying. I totally get this post...been there, done that! We got our boys the other day (I can't remember which one, already) the days are a blur. They are safe and sound. Hang in there. And go ahead and cry. Will continue to pray. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I've never met you, but I've been following for quite a while now. I am praying that everything comes through for Keanan soon! I totally nested a week before we were supposed to get our daughter (that fell through, but I know first hand the nesting that's associated with adoption :). We'll keep praying that he gets here soon, and for sanity for you all while you wait!

    ReplyDelete
  10. What awesome friends you have! I hope you're able to bring your little man home soon.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The waiting at the end is the hardest part. I have three children adopted from Russia. Hope today is the day. Life will settle into the new normal for you very soon!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your friends are awesome! So glad they were able to help you with the bra, the carseat, your girls & the room! Praying for your family!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Hoping too! And only great people have such great friends.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Rachelle2:00 PM

    I have been following your blog for the past week and a half or so. I pray for you, your family, and most importantly your sweet, sweet Keanan to be reunited so very soon. My husband and I have been praying about adopting a Haitian baby (we have 2 of our own....almost 3 and 18 months). Your story has put more gas on the fire of that desire. Thank you so much for sharing your story with the rest of us. I cannot wait to cry tears of joy with you when your baby boy makes it home!!
    Blessings from Oklahoma.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Such a blessing to have amazing friends like that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. the boys room. with bunks. and robots. love.

    ReplyDelete
  17. oh, Kristen... what a CREW you have. what wonderful girls. LOOKS GREAT. he will be home so soon, i cannot wait to see it happen. ali(mom of jackson, home from haiti in 03)

    ReplyDelete

talk to me.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...