the present of presence

I'm not really making a bunch of resolutions this year. I'm starting out the year running my first half-marathon, so I'm feeling pretty proud of myself, and not looking to make more goals involving self-discipline or achievement. I am wanting to make some changes, though, and it's tricky because the changes I need to make really revolve around NOT checking things off of a list. I have an incessant need to feel a sense of achievement or completion each day. I was poking fun at this tendency of mine in yesterday's post, but in reality I know that this is an area where I need some serious growth. I can spend hours of my time trying to tick items off of my to-do list. I have a hard time relaxing. Just sitting and enjoying my children is difficult for me. After a few minutes of playing ponies or peek-a-boo, my eyes start wandering to the scattered toys or the overflowing laundry bin or the list of people I need to call. I am constantly distracted by a sense that I should be doing something important. Unfortunately in my unconscious value system, just being with my kids does not seem important enough. Cognivitely, I don't feel this way. I want to give myself permission to just sit and really "be" with my kids. Somehow I have a hard time translating that desire into my everyday behavior.

So . . . my resolve for the coming year is to figure out how to put that into practice. I want to achieve less. To get less done. To complete fewer tasks. I want to put mothering on the top of my to-do list, and I want to live in a way that reflects that priority. This priority:


6 comments:

  1. I am the QUEEN of doing less. I'd give you lessons, but you couldn't afford me.

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  2. Good for you. My kids are 19 and just got married, 16 and 12 and just yesterday they were little bitty. Have fun with them.
    Amy

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  3. oh geez. i'm going to have to say "ditto" to that whole post. I would say i could of written it myself...except that you write much better than I do.
    But that hits home.
    Do less. Me too.
    Thank you.

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  4. Totally identify with this one!! What challenges us more than being mothers??!!...I don't think anything! It's a journey that's for sure...great post :)

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  5. I couldn't agree with you more! My husband and I are getting ready to move into our first home with our 2 boys and for the first few months we're not going to have internet while we figure out our finances. I can honestly say that I'm looking forward to not having that huge distraction so I can focus on more important things like my kids!

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  6. I think we were separated at birth.

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talk to me.

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