technology black hole

Sometimes I envy those Amish.

We are having a bad technology month.  I actually feel like we have a technology curse.  I am sort of hoping other people read this and say, “no, this stuff happens to me, too”.  Because I feel like the constant breaking/crashing/rebooting/ exclamation-point-within-a-triangle thing is just a big fat episode of me being punked. 

Punked by technology.


- We just cancelled our Uverse cable, because a) ATT is like an abusive boyfriend who I needed to break up with, and b) we didn’t like our cable going down every time our internet was out, because WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO  THEN, TALK TO EACH OTHER?  So we switched to regular old DSL and satellite cable, only we forgot to get a landline extended to the new cable, so we can’t order movies on demand.  Which wouldn’t be a big deal, except that:

2. Our DVD player broke.  Which wouldn’t be a big deal, because we have two laptops that can play movies.  Except that:

3. One of our laptops overheats and shuts down every ten minutes or so, and the other will not send the VGA signal to our tv.  (The one that overheats is the identical model laptop and the tv picks up the signal from that one just fine).

4. In addition to said faulty laptops, I also have a netbook – purchased with a fantasy of myself composing blog posts from exotic locations like the beach or the local park. (That has never happened).  The ‘z’ key popped off while I was typing, so I sent it back for service since it was still under warranty.  The computer came back with the ‘z’ key replaced and the ENTIRE DRIVE ERASED AND UNFORMATTED.  Why they even needed to turn on the computer at all to fix a key on the keyboard, I have no idea.  So now I get to reformat the computer and wonder how many photos and blog drafts I forgot to back-up before sending it in.

5. I have my new tv set up to record So You Think You Can Dance and instead it records (daily) two hours of a Persian news program.  That I inexplicably often watch for several minutes.  I guess this is less a technology problem, and more a personal issue.  Similarly: I found myself watching the last ten minutes of Sesame Street the other day after Mark had run to the store with Karis.  I was alone, in my house . . . watching Abby’s Flying Fairy School with glazed eyes.  And I wasn’t even drunk.  Though I suppose that would have been worse.  Actually, I’m not sure which is worse.

6. Mark and I both have iphones, but we use them unlocked on T-Mobile because we are miserly cheapskates frugal.  But because of this, we can’t update our operating system, which means that we can’t use most apps, or really receive any help from either Mac or T-Mobile when our phones start acting wonky and sluggish.  And both our phones are acting wonky and sluggish. 7. Mark finally bought the ipad he’s been dreaming of for the better part of a year . . . and one week later, they announced the new, improved ipad.  And suddenly this piece of technology that Mark was so smitten with was old, lame, and inferior.  So he decided to take it back . . . except first he tried to sync it with his computer so he could save the documents he made on his ipad, including a lengthy proposal for a consulting client.  He somehow lost everything.

8. Last night Mark took the ipad back and now has to wait an ENTIRE FOUR DAYS before the new ipad comes out.  He is now acting like it the loss of his ipad is the biggest inconvenience ever.  Even though he had it for a total of seven days.  Also, all four of the children are also going through withdrawal from the ipad. 

And don’t get me started on how confounded I often am with itunes, how my blog is randomly cutting off the side of certain posts, how my GPS system needs updating, and how I can’t figure out how to use StumbleUpon or Tumblr even though, by all accounts, I should know these things as a blogger.  Today I posted something to Tumbler and realized Tumblr was sending all of it to Twitter.  A couple days ago Posterous updated my blog. 


I know it’s a bit ridiculous to complain (can someone say first-world problems?).  I know we are lucky to even have these things, and that they are essential to our jobs, yada yada yada.  I just can’t help but think that sometimes all of this stuff meant to streamline our lives is actually just making it more complicated.

But, there is this:


That would be my inbox.  With NO NEW MESSAGES.  It’s even more liberating than I thought it would be.  Now, to keep it that way . . .

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