Thanks to everyone who was fervently praying . . . we’ve survived Carmageddon. You take us off the prayer-chain for now.
It was a rough weekend, though. Sure, the news stories may be telling you that Carmageddon was mainly an overgrown panic perpetuated by a bunch of paranoid, traffic-weary SoCal residents. And for the most part, it was. But this weekend we found ourselves in the midst of a perfect traffic storm, being that our home is situated in the middle of the closed-down 405, a different freeway that leads to the beach, and a road in between the two freeways that intersects with the Orange County Fair. Which opened this weekend. Which meant on Saturday it took me an hour to go four blocks on Fair Drive.
Here, I’ve drawn a map for
responsibility-avoiding illustration purposes. (This map is not drawn to scale, FYI, in case you are a psycho-killer who thinks I’ve just drawn a map to my house and put it on the internet. Also, I am horrible with directions and pretty sure that none of this is accurate except for the part about OMG TRAFFIC).
Speaking of the fair, now that it is open, I’m feeling a lot of pressure to go, and to report back with some humorous and awful stories about it like I did the last several years in a row (i.e. here and here). But what if nothing mortifying happens? What if everyone is dressed sensibly? What if there is no ridiculous concoction of foods like a Baby Ruth deep-friend inside a jalapeno? What if all of the ride operators look like upstanding citizens instead of meth dealers?
Hahahaha. Who am I kidding? It will be awful, I will hate it, and the presence of four small children will assure that something goes awry, most likely something targeting my dignity. So stay tuned for that.