Summer Shoe Guide

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etnies Autism Speaks Fader Vulc Strap Skate Shoe



 Where do I start with my love for the etnies Autism Speaks line?  Etnies has long been one of my favorite brands because their shoes are built so well, and they've teamed up with Autism Speaks to help spread awareness and raise money for autism research.  Many kid's shoe lines stop making velcro closures for size 2 and up, but etnies has vekcro for every age so that kids with fine motor issues can have more independence in getting their shoes on and off.  (I think parents of neuro-typical kids will appreciate this feature as well).




New Balance 688 Lace-Up Running Shoe



New Balance is one of my favorite brands for my own feet, so it's no surprise I love their shoes for my kids. They are stable and durable, and can take a beating.  These will be the shoe of choice for all of the sports camps my boys will be in this summer.

New Balance 993 Velcro Running Shoe

Confession: I am a lazy, lazy mom.  I detest tying shoes.  I love that these are bona-fide athletic shoes with velcro straps.  India loves that they are pink.

etnies Senix Mid Skate Shoe (Toddler),Pink/Pink/White,6 M US Toddler

Do these shoes really need any commentary?  Every time Karis wears these, people comment on them.  SO cute . . . but also really practical and durable.








etnies Fader Vulc Strap Skate Shoe
I love these shoes on India.  They're made in the classic etnies styling (read: indestructable) but I love the feminine touches with the splash of color.  These are a little bit girlie and a little bit funky, and they got with anything.




Livie & Luca Celestina Girls Sandal
Livie &; Luca has some of the cutest shoes I have ever seen for toddlers.  This pair of shimmery gold sandals are so cute.  They go with anything, from shorts to sundresses, and Karis can put them on and off by herself.  She thinks these shoes are quite fancy, and I agree.



Livie & Luca Nixie Girls Shoes


Do these shoes really need any commentary?  If they made them in my size, I would wear them every day.  For now, I just have to covet my daughter.




Pediped Flex Amazon Sandal

Pediped is synonymous with quality shoes, and I love their summer sandals because they are breathable but still have a closed-toe.  My kids are in a preschool program this summer - no sandals allowed - but these are the perfect combo. They also have a really comfortable food bed and are easy to get on and off.


Pediped Flex Nile Sandal 

I love these summery Mary Janes -  a great shoe/sandal hybrid. 

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that’s what SHE said: memorial day edition

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Happy Memorial Day!  Here are some of things I read this week that made me think.  (These are just snippets – click on the title to read the whole thing).

Where Mommyhood Meets Martyrdom from MamaDojo

“It took me awhile to figure out why, exactly, I insisted on making things harder than they are.  I guess it’s because I observed that no one ever showers you with praise for “Things are fine.”  Maybe if I didn’t make a big production out of motherhood, people would think I was just letting her loose in the backyard, hoping she’d eventually find a nice rodent to raise her for me.  People would think I was bad at this unless balloons fell from the sky every time I completed a routine task.  I want to be impressive and maternal and amazing and A+, so I want everyone to know how busy I am and how hard it is.”

Why Summer Break Scares Me from Katherine at the ParentDish

“The summer scares me. It makes me nervous. I feel like I don't know how to entertain my children all the time. I can only do it in short bits and bites. And then what? They'll go off for a while and play on their own, but then it's back to Mama. Mama, watch this. Mama, do that. Mama, play this imaginary game with me. Mama, read this book to me. Mama, Mama, Mama, Mama.”

I want to kick something. I want to punch it real hard. from Stephanie at Adventures in Babywearing:

“Yesterday I felt pretty, in a blue dress and leggings. But in my car's side view mirror I caught a glimpse of myself and literally didn't even recognize her. And normally the car mirror is like, the most flattering of all. I note, in my head, thirty-four is the age I officially look and feel old. I look like that woman on Oprah, who drank Big Gulps of Diet Coke every day and Dr. Oz fixed her up and she looked young again. But I only drink water and unsweetened tea.”

Arnold Schwarznegger: Sins of the Father from Deesha at The Faster Time

“I kept reading. What I came to understand from that pile of papers was that my mother wanted my father to pay child support.  My father objected by denying paternity.  (As an adult, I would hear from a family friend that a judge saw a picture of me, looked at my dad, and laughed him out of court.  This was of course in the days before Maury Povich adjudicated such matters).  So I learned from those papers that my father had not wanted me.  And I learned to be ashamed.”

Can You Really Raise A Genderless Child? from Jezebel.com

“Kathy Witterick and David Stocker have decided to keep the gender of four-month-old Storm a secret — only they, their two older children, and a few others know the truth. In an email announcement to friends and family, Witterick and Stocker said, ‘We've decided not to share Storm's sex for now — a tribute to freedom and choice in place of limitation, a stand up to what the world could become in Storm's lifetime (a more progressive place? ...)’.”

Like You've Just Stepped Out Of A Salon from Claudia at My fascinating life

“I told them what I've told you, and each person who joined the conversation said 'do you think they were rude to you because you were white?'  And I said I didn't know. Then I said that was what made it particularly hard - I had no idea whether the whole thing was about the colour of my skin or whether I had done or said something wrong, or whether the particularly rude woman just had a terrible hangover and didn't want to be at work at all that day.  Then a I said how difficult I find it that my children are going to face this situation much more often than me, where they have no idea whether a difficult situation has happened because of their colour. Nothing too monumental there. For a moment I felt like I had been through an experience that would really help me to understand what my children's life would be like.”

I'm Apparently My Father's Daughter from Sue at navel gazing at its finest:

“But it turns out that I’m holding on to some of it really tightly.  I know this because every time something new happens, I go back to the bones of the same old disasters and gnaw on them until my teeth hurt.  Bad idea generally, because then when life has it’s inevitable ups and downs, instead of being able to view them as part of the normal flow of life - as just temporary setbacks - I view them as ONE MORE THING. One more crappy thing that happened. As though my life were a see-saw with everything bad that’s ever happened to me piled up on one side, and absolutely NOTHING piled up on the other – as though all of the good things (like my wonderful kids, the great job I have, and, oh, I don’t know, BEING ALIVE RIGHT NOW) have no weight at all.”

Spite the Sun from Megan at Velveteen Mind

“The lump ended up being nothing. So did another one. My freckles betrayed me, though, and a more thorough search began. The doctor immediately noted a spot on my back, nearly dead center, a zone which I frankly consider foul play in the Cancer Games. How in the hell am I supposed to spot something in the center of my back? Amidst a field of hundreds of other something's, needless to mention?”

Latin Boys from Jamie the Very Worst Missionary

“I know, I know. I’m supposed to hate it. As a woman, I’m supposed to feel objectified by the catcalls and horn honking. As a missionary, I’m supposed to feel embarrassed by my own sexuality and particularly horrified by the possibility that I may be causing my brother to stumble, or whatever. As a human being, I should feel degraded by being cajoled like an animal. But if I’m being really honest, and I am here, I have to tell you that -while I’m sort of uncomfortable with the aggressive nature of all these Latin boys – they….um…. …They make me feel pretty.

And I like that.”

Name It and Claim It: Adoption Version from Zehlahlum Family

“I like to think that I know best and that what I need to live abundantly is money, more money, and nice stuff. I like to think that I am in control and know what I need to do to take care of myself. I like to think that I understand how God works and when I do A he will do B and the result will be C. I like to think that I deserve an easy and safe life without troubles.

The problem is that none of that is true.”

Also, today is the last day to enter for the two Visa giftcards I am giving away along with BlogHer.  Free money, people!  You don’t have to do anything but leave a comment. Visit here to enter to win an Arm and Hammer MY WAY Spinbrush and a $100 Visa giftcard and here to enter to win an eco-friendly Libman Spray Mop and a $100 Visa Giftcard.

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the post that will inspire confidence in both our gardening and decision-making abilities

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So, we started a garden today.

It was a bit of an impulse move.  We have a neighbor who has basically turned his front yard into a vegetable garden.  The kids walk by it every day and just revel in the whole thing.  They love picking strawberries and peas and carrots.  Every day they are in awe of what is going on in Jason’s garden.  Last night, Jason sent us home with a bunch of potatoes which were somehow the most magical and delicious potatoes I have ever eaten, and Mark decided that it must be.  We are to have a garden.

I love the idea of growing our own food, but to be honest this doesn’t really feel like the phase of life for us to be taking on a new project.  But Mark was sold on the idea (perhaps fueled by a pint of Jason’s home-brewed beer flavored with his home-grown hops) and suddenly he was digging out a 12x4 plot the backyard.

 

 

This plot is now boxed in with a 2-foot wood border and filled with soil.  It looks like the perfect spot for a home garden.  Only, we don’t know what to do now.  So maybe some of you have a green thumb and can tell me what to plant.  Here are the important details:

1. We don’t know what we are doing.

2. We live in Southern California.

3. It’s almost summer (you probably know that already but it seems relevant).

4. We don’t know what we are doing.

Alright, so now what?

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what I want you to know: having a child with a disability

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What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions.  It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here.  Today’s post is by Katy from Bird on the Street .

 

If you read my blog and don’t have a child with a disability, you might have, at some point, wondered if there was something you could do for me. Or for other parents like me, who not only raise children, but double as nurses, therapists, teachers, and advocates. Personally, I have an incredibly hard time asking for help or even accepting help that shows up on my doorstep. I feel weak, rude, or like I’m taking resources away from someone who needs them more than I do.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t want something from others, though.  Because I do, and today I’m going to answer that age-old platitude:  “if there’s anything I can do.”

So here it is:
Try to look people with disabilities in the eye.
If you meet a child with a disability, speak directly to them. A parent or guardian will let you know if they aren’t capable of understanding or responding.
Don’t assume that a person with a disability has a poor quality of life and don’t teach that misconception to your children.
When a person with a life-long disability dies, don’t utter the phrase, “it was probably for the best.”
Don’t waste time on pity–nobody wants it.
Don’t assume I wish my child was different. Don’t assume he’s a burden.
Teach your children that different is OK and be sure to include not just those of a different color, but those who move around differently, talk or hear differently, and even those whose bodies are different.
If your child asks about someone in a wheelchair, don’t tell them to “shush.”
And teach them that looking is OK if it’s done with a smile.
If you find a child or parent or adult who is open about disability, use them and get educated.
If you don’t know about something, ask when appropriate or Google It!
Ban the words “retard” and “retarded” from your home. Even in jest, they hurt people.
If medical stuff freaks you out, imagine being a first-time mom feeding your baby through a tube, and remember that no one likes hospitals or medical equipment–some of us just don’t have a choice.
I you are interested in volunteering, do a stint with people who walk, talk, or even breathe differently than you do. Familiarity will make acceptance easier.

Don’t worry too much about how I’m handing things and ask yourself if you’re doing enough to make this world a safe place for my child and all people with a disability. Do you live like the disabled are invisible? Are you inadvertently teaching your children intolerance because of your own baggage? In your desire to be “polite” have you crossed over into “rude?” Do you make assumptions about things that you know nothing about?

I will take care of my child. I will love and nurture him. I will teach him. I will give him every advantage I can afford, so that he might one day be the person he wants to be. I ask that you help make this a safe world for him–a world where he can be who he is without apology, a world where difference isn’t a crime. God didn’t give me a special child to raise–he gave all of us the opportunity to be the best or the worst version of ourselves. I’m doing my part. All I ask is that you do yours.

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operation swimsuit with the fresh diet

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I am on a mission for the month of June – I want to be comfortable in a swimsuit.  I don’t need it to be a bikini, and I don’t need to look like Demi Moore.  I just want to be able to go to the beach with my kids and not feel self-conscious getting into the water.  I want to be able to accept a pool playdate without worrying about being in a swimsuit in front of another family.  I feel like my weight has been limiting my life as of late.  I have been so busy taking care of everyone around me that I’ve lost focus of my own health, and as a result I have failed to lose the weight I put on after having Karis.  SHE’S TWO.

There is a website I love called Curvy Girl Guide, and they just did a swimsuit confidence post where they all posed in swimsuits.  I want to have that confidence.  It’s ridiculous to sit out on being active because I’m insecure.

I know myself, and I know I need accountability and convenience.  So, for the month of June I’m trying two things.  First, I’m going to take part in a “boot camp” called No Excuses at my local YMCA.  I think the name is pretty apt for me, because I make a lot of excuses for myself.  The four kids are a pretty easy excuse.  But they are offering a mid-morning class.  It’s not too early to cause me to lose sleep, and they provide childcare.  It meets six days a week (youch).  I have no excuses.  I’m gonna do it.

What I’m really excited about, though, is to be partnering with The Fresh Diet for the month of June. They are a food preparation service so I feel like I am getting a personal chef.  I am so excited about this, because I know that my biggest issue with eating right is food preparation.  I actually prefer fresh and healthy foods, but it’s so hard to get to the grocery store, keep fresh food stocked, and prepare meals for myself that my kids likely won’t eat.  The Fresh Diet is all about fresh and gourmet food.  I’m a bit picky, and they offer choices every day.  It’s based on The Zone Diet, so I don’t have to keep track of calories (or cook).  I just get my meals every day – which is perfect for my crazy stage of life right now.  I’ve done diets with points before, and found the constant counting and keeping track really difficult.  I’ve also done meal plan diets before, but they consisted of frozen and pre-packaged meals that just tasted gross.  I think The Fresh Diet will be a great solution for me and I am feeling like I won the lottery to get to try this for a month.  I’ve just started a new blog to track my progress – you can follow it here.

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malingering

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Today around 9am I got a call from Jafta’s school. It was the nurse – letting me know that Jafta was in her office complaining of a stomach ache.  Now, Jafta is prone to psychosomatic complaints and general dramatics, so I was a bit skeptical.  The nurse offered for me to talk to him myself.  In retrospect, this was probably not the best idea.  He told me his stomach was hurting really bad, and then I made another mistake – I told him that he needed to go back to class, and if it was still hurting in an hour, that I would come and get him.

I don’t think Jafta had any fantasy that his trip to the nurse could involve a ticket home for the day.  I think he was just enjoying a walk up to the office, a couple minutes out of class, and the thrill of calling me at home during a school day.  But then I went and planted the idea that I might pick him up, and sure enough, not 15 minutes later I got a call from the nurse, saying that he had returned to class but was just in too much pain to stay.

Again, I had my doubts, but not wanting to seem like a mother completely devoid of sympathy, I agreed to come get him.  As soon as I arrived, Jafta was all smiles.  For a moment he seemed to recall that he was supposed to be sick, and made a show of clutching his stomach and looking miserable.  But then he remembered that he had forgotten his backpack in the classroom, and I told him to go get it.  He took off . . . SPRINTING.   He came back with two friends who I guess had been assigned to walk him back to make sure he was okay.  He had a sly smile like he was just loving this whole thing.  He gave his friends enthusiastic hugs and then asked me if he would be able to watch tv at home.

I was more than a little annoyed, and determined to make the rest of his day COMPLETELY MISERABLE so as to not encourage or reward his malingering in any way.  For Jafta, I knew it had to involve two things: social isolation and media deprivation.  So, I set down the gauntlet.  He had to be in his bed, for the duration of the school day.  No tv. No interaction with his siblings. He could come out for lunch, and then back to his room.

Oh, the dramatics that ensued.  He had to pee every 15 minutes during that 6-hour period.  He peeked out every time, with the most forlorn glances he could muster. He decided he needed to hug each sibling after every trip to the bathroom.  When I forbid that, he begged to give them high-fives before retreating to his exile.  He made up elaborate excuses for coming out.  He empathically told me how much better he was feeling.  He admitted that he wasn’t really sick.  He told me he was lonely.  He argued and complained about how bored he was. On and on and on.

But still, I would not relent.  As much as his misery was getting on my nerves, I took some small satisfaction in knowing: this kid will never fake an illness to stay home EVER AGAIN.

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what’s the protocol for declining playdates?

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Yesterday Kembe came home from school with a really sweet note from the parents of another boy in his class.  I’ll call him Aidan.  The note said that Aidan talks about Kembe all the time, and really wants to have him over for a playdate.  Kembe somehow knew about the subject of the note and is  talking constantly about going to Aidan’s house.

My first reaction was to be flattered and excited for Kembe.  He’s doing really well socially and I’m happy that despite his accent and the fact that he looks different from pretty much every kid in his class, he seems to be extremely popular.  (And this isn’t just my observation – the teacher says so as well).  He’s a little charmer and my heart swells that he is well-liked by his peers.

But I’ve been putting off calling Aidan’s mom, because I am worried the conversation could be awkward. You see, I don’t know Aidan’s mom.  I’m pretty sure she is a lovely person.  But Mark and I have always said that we wouldn’t let our kids have playdates in the homes of people we don’t know. 

I didn’t think we were being that conservative with that decision, but it’s not the first request and it seems like other parents are a bit more comfortable with the idea of dropping their kids off with families that appear to be normal and upstanding.  I don’t want to sound judgmental of people who make different decisions.  I know this is mostly from our own paranoia.  We’re therapists – being paranoid about childhood trauma is an occupational hazard.  I’ve always wanted to keep our circle rather small, in terms of the adults that have access to our kids when we aren’t around.  I would imagine this won’t change much as our kids get older.  The thought of sending my kids to homes where there may be access to filter-free internet?  No thank you.

Anyways, I’m really struggling with how to choose my wording with this other mom, because I don’t want to give the impression that I don’t trust her, or that I think poorly of her, etc.  How do you politely say, “it’s not you, it’s me?”  How do I say, “we don’t let our kids play at the homes of people we don’t know well?” without sounding like a jerk?  Because I feel like I’m going to sound like a jerk.  I am perfectly happy meeting them at a park or hosting Aidan at our house, but the invitation was clearly for Kembe to go to theirs, so the subject will likely come up.

What do you do?  What are your boundaries in terms of playdates at homes outside your circle of friends?  How do you tell other parents about your own boundaries in a way that doesn’t denote judgment?

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Summer Toy Guide

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Summer is almost here!  In anticipation, I wanted to round-up some of the best toy finds for the summer.  My criteria: I was specifically looking for toys that promote activity, provide educational stimulation, enhance family bonding, or that keep kids entertained on road trips. My kids were my more-than-willing test subjects over the last month as we tried out a variety of toys.  Here are some of our favorites:


MeteorLight L.E.D Ball

It's a ball that lights up.  Instant party.  Perfect for playing ball at night.  My boys loved this.





Green Toys Stacking Cups

Karis loves these cups for stacking and for water play.  I love them because all Green Toys are made of recycled milk jugs. No BPA, PVC, phthalates or external coatings, and they are dishwasher safe.







Hoot Owl Hoot


Peacable Kingdom has a line of great games for kids that eliminate the fighting and competition.  They are created to allow kids to work together, and best of all . . . this one is simple enough for my kids to play peacefully together without my help.









Charles the Lion Canvas Backpack

I love Blabla's modern stuffed toys, and they now have screenprinted canvas backpacks.  So cute!  These are great for travel, or for toting toys in the car.






Playmobil Sunshine Home

This cute dollhouse comes with 4 family members and is furnished with kitchen, living area, bathroom and bedroom for the whole family. It's a perfect size for playing.

Razor Jr. Folding Scooter

Karis's scooter envy is finally over - she is in love with her little Razor Jr. It has a three-wheel design for added stability and an impact-resistant plastic body.  Razors are the perfect summer toy and I love that our whole family can now enjoy them.





Razor Graffiti Chalk Scooter

Speaking of Razor and summer, their newest edition is a traditional scooter outfitted with spots for three pieces of chalk that allow kids to create sidewalk art as they ride. Like all Razors, this version folds up easily so it can be taken to the park or the bike path.  (Chalk optional!)






 Razor Multi-Sport Helmet

Razor mult-sport helmets are a must, too.  Good for bike-riding, skateboarding, and (of course) scooters, they even come in pink!




Crayola Glow Explosion Sand Art

Glow Sand is a fun and creative project that allows kids to create their own work of art with glowing sand. 






Crayola Sidewalk Tattoos Bug Critters

Sidewalk tattoos let kids create and color detailed drawings and scenes on sidewalks, driveways or any other flat outdoor surface.And they wash off with water.






Smart Lab Indoor/Outdoor Microscope

I have to admit, even Mark and I were fascinated with looking at things through this super-powered microscope. Commonly found items like newspapers, pencil strokes, flower petals, bugs, and even clothing fibers are fun to watch at 40 times their normal size. Kids can use the stand to view prepared slides, or remove the microscope from the stand and head outdoors to explore.



Smart Lab Bug Playground

My kids love hunting for bugs and putting them into this playground.  And then chasing their sisters around with their new "pets".





PlanToys Workbench

This is a really fun construction workbench that includes 6 tools, 27 construction parts and a removable storage unit. Kids can hammer and screw construction parts into both the table and back panel.  Like all PlanToys, this set is made of non-toxic, natural materials and organic rubberwood.



The Original Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine

I had this same Sno-Cone machine as a kid, and it is so fun seeing my kids play with it, too!  First introduced in 1979, this nostalgic toy lets children create treats to help them beat the heat. Kids can place an ice cube top and watch it transform into a sno-cone by turning the handle.





Happiness is a Warm Puppy

Speaking of Snoopy nostalgia, this book is one of our favorites.  On every spread there’s a tiny tidbit of wisdom from one of the characters. 

Secret Pocket Cape Super Hero

My kids love their costumes, and these pocket capes are a great portable addition to their collection. This satin cape has a velcro closure, 4 inside pockets for favorite toys, and a clear vinyl back pocket to display one of the included shields or the child's own artwork.  It also comes in pink!

Tony Hawk Huckjam Series Indoor Practice Board

If your kids are wanna-be skaters like mine, you will love this practice board that lets them try out new tricks on the safety of carpet, grass or sand before hitting the pavement.  It is available at Target this June and will be available at Walmart in October.  You can see it in action at this video.



Bla bla Boogaloo

I am in love with Blabla's knitted dolls, and their new boogaloo toys are great gifts for babies and toddlers.  The whole collection is designed by Florence Wetterwald and hand-knit by Peruvian artisans using all-natural fibers. 



Green Toys Flatbed with Race Car


It's the environmentally responsible flatbed truck! This blue truck hauls a red hot rod on its back and has a flatbed that tilts up to allow the car to roll off.  My kids love this in the sand-box.  Like all Green Toys these eco-conscious vehicles are made in the USA from 100% recycled plastic milk containers.




Count Your Chickens

This is another great game for young kids from Peaceable Kingdom, helping kids to learn concepts of counting and taking turns. 

The Klutz Guide to the Galaxy

This is a fun travel book for older kids, tackling important stuff like “How likely is it that a meteor will fall from the sky and squash me flat?” and “If I lived on Mercury, am I already old enough to drive?” and “Why do they call them MoonPies?” It's a fun take on science that is entertaining and educational.

Klutz The Encyclopedia of My Immaturity

Another fun book for the tween set, this quirky diary is a wise-cracking collection of write-in-the-book activities immortalizing the triumphs of a smart-aleck youth.






Sticker Design Studio: Create Your Own Custom Stickers (Klutz)

The book is packed with over 500 cute die-cut designs you mix, match, color, and layer to create your own unique stickers.  In addition to ready-to-color stickers, the book features colorful pages of tips, inspiration, and guided creativity.



Nite Ize Flashflight Light Up Flying Disc


It's a frisbee!  That lights up!  Also, Jafta is convinced this is one of the discs from Tron.  This little toy gets a lot of play at my house.






Products were submitted to me for review - inclusion at my discretion and opinions definitely my own.

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