that’s what SHE said: diversity, gray hairs, moms against moms, oppression olympics, political hypocrisy, sexist LEGO’s, and the pursuit of happiness

she said

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On the wide world and why it matters | Chookooloonks

Since returning home from the funeral, I've been thinking about how much immigration and emigration are such a huge part of my personal story.  If my great-grandfather hadn't immigrated to Trinidad from China and met his Asian/Amerindian wife, my paternal grandmother wouldn't have been born.  My paternal grandfather's story is similar, with the immigration of his Barbadian family to Trinidad.  On my mother's side, her people hail from countries including India and Martinique, before arriving in Trinidad.  My family immigrated to the United States -- several times.  And if I hadn't emigrated from the US to England for a couple of years, I would've never met my English/Irish husband Marcus, married, immigrated back to the United States and adopted our Latina daughter.  Just in my family, my immediate story is touched by at least 10 countries that I can count, and there are clearly more.

"They Shot Him, Papa!": Finding Smarter Ways to Talk to Kids About Diversity | David Valdes Greenwood

By the end of the week, the limits of this approach had been made clear when a white boy told a boy of color -- one of his best friends -- that they couldn't play together anymore because of the boy's brown skin. This reaction, I have to admit, was a fairly logical outgrowth of the white child's understanding of the lesson he'd just learned in school: that a white man killed a black man because the black man wanted their races to get along. For the white boy hearing such a message, not playing with his African-American pal could equal watching out for his friend's safety.

These puppies aren’t my fault | The Bloggess

Oh, I’m getting puppies.   There’s gonna be puppies everywhere.  And then when Victor is all “WHERE ARE ALL THESE PUPPIES COMING FROM?” I’d just say “These puppies came from you. You brought these puppies into our house.  With your wrongness.”  And then he’d complain that I was the one that kept sneaking puppies in and I’d have to explain that his actions brought the puppies in.  And then he’d realize just how crazy it is to fight about ridiculous shit for no reason at all.  Also, the puppies get shafted because we aren’t responsible enough to have that many puppies.  I mean, think about the puppies, Victor.

Your hard is hard — The EO

I hesitate in venting because when I’m doing that it so often seems that other mothers assume I’m saying I win the Hardest Award, or that I’m wishing away my life. But I’m not. I’m just talking. I’m seeking validation and there is nothing more refreshing than another mother who simply sees me and acknowledges The Hard and nods and says, Yes, it’s so hard, isn’t it? The End.

Why is she so rare?

This is the day my hairdresser asked me if I am 30 | Sassafrass

I distinctly remember the year my own mother turned 40. I thought she was ancient. Of course, I was 15 and had a hundred-thousand opinions about who and what my mother was. Now when I see pictures of her from that birthday, I'm taken aback by her gorgeous, glowing skin and thick, curly blond-streaked hair cropped around her face.  I also remember when her best friend turned 40 a few years later. I was astonished that they could overcome the chasm that is three or four years age difference to be close and I wondered if it depressed my mom that she was so much older than 40 by the time her friend reached that pinnacle.

Anderson Cooper’s Love/Hate Relationship with Moms | Pundit Mom's Spin Cycle

I know your producers probably told you that this is mom vs. mom topic is one that we’re all are still fighting about.  I guess they missed some of the other writing that’s been done on the subject.  In case you’re interested, mothers are pretty much done with that.  It’s too exhausting to put down our fellow moms, and we’ve got other more important stuff to do.  Like, you know, eating bon bons while our kids are are running through the house with matches and sharp objects.

On Gratefulness and Motherhood | Mocha Momma

Motherhood offers no badges or stripes save for the stretch marks or the haggard looks we wear. Babies don’t thank you for catching their puke. Teenagers don’t appreciate you for putting clean sheets on their beds. But in that instant when they willingly share their own truths with you there is a sliver of gratitude. There is something loving and joyous that sneaks up on you and, for inexplicable reasons, it covers a multitude of sins they’ve committed against you. It’s hard not to be grateful and indebted in that split-second.

The theater of the absurd? | Welcome to my Brain

For as long as scouting has existed, there have been gay boys camping in tents and lesbian girls sharing camp bathrooms. There have been boys who know and believe they were born girls and girls who know and believe they were born boys ... selling cookies, tying knots, having sleepovers, and earning merit badges. I don't recall reading about these children making sexual advances on other kids and creating chaos.

How Many Stephen Colberts Are There? | NYTimes.com

“There’s a common explanation that profound sadness leads to someone’s becoming a comedian, but I’m not sure that’s a proven equation in my case,” he told me. “I’m not bitter about what happened to me as a child, and my mother was instrumental in keeping me from being so.” He added, in a tone so humble and sincere that his character would never have used it: “She taught me to be grateful for my life regardless of what that entailed, and that’s directly related to the image of Christ on the cross and the example of sacrifice that he gave us. What she taught me is that the deliverance God offers you from pain is not no pain — it’s that the pain is actually a gift. What’s the option? God doesn’t really give you another choice.”

A letter to my sweet little Afton | NoBiggie

The other night I was getting your big brother out of the bath. He asked me to wrap him up in the towel and sing “Baby Mine” to him like I always do. I started to sing to him, and then I started to cry as I thought of you, and how I’ll never get to wrap you up in a towel after a bath. It was the sweetest thing…your big brother started to cry with me (which only made me cry more). He is the sweetest little boy, with such a tender heart. It was the first time I have felt that he too misses you.

Tingalayo | The Girl Who

I watch as firefighters break into Henry's bedroom window and begin spraying water. They are everywhere now, the firefighters. I count five fire trucks before turning my attention back to my house. Flames are shooting from Violet's bedroom windows and the roof above her bedroom. I think of getting her dressed in that room just hours before. Had the fire been burning then? I smelled smoke all morning, but had assumed it was the neighbor's wood burning stove. On really windy days the smoke from his chimney blows right into our house and smells like burning wood. Had I been smelling our own house on fire? Yes, I was, as it turns out. Fire in the walls. In Violet's walls.

LEGO Friends Petition: Parents, Women And Girls Ask Toy Companies To Stop Gender-Based Marketing | HuffPo

legos marketing

"It would be easy to assume that this is just about LEGO, but [it] is part of a much larger marketing environment that puts the interests of girls and boys into ... limiting boxes," said Cole, one of the women behind the new petition agains LEGO Friends. Indeed, other classic brands including Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, My Little Pony -- and even Troll dolls -- have been transformed. The characters are much more slender, many look like they've gotten hair extensions, the Trolls carry purses.

Plastizer increases miscarriage risk. — Environmental Health News

Adults are exposed to phthalates primarily through diet. Phthalates are used to make vinyl plastics softer and more flexible. Food packaging, medical tubing and children's toys can contain the chemicals. Other phthalates are also found in certain personal care products, such as fingernail polish, perfumes and cosmetics. Because of their wide use, exposure is ubiquitous and continuous.

Why Should I Care About The Gingrich Marriage? | Lisa Belkin

By the above measures I shouldn't even have been watching Nightline last night, since an ex-wife's accusations that her husband asked permission to have an affair and to call it an "open marriage" tell me nothing about that ex-husband's legislative goals nor governing style and are therefore none of my concern, right? Not completely.  There's a mark by which personal revelations can be measured when judging their relevance: that of hypocrisy.

Controversy & consequence | Livesay [Haiti] Weblog

There is certainly a time to stand up for the truth, to dissect sin issues of others, to assault heresy, talk about a foolish public figure, and/or process a painful past. In a fallen world, it has to be this way and always will be until the coming day when Jesus makes all things right. But the greater question concerns our posture. What emotions do we carry? What conversations do we have with others? What is the tone and content of those conversations? Do we have a "I sure am glad I'm not like that idiot" attitude? Or, "How in the world could he screw that one up so badly?!?!?" As if people have never wondered those same questions about me.

Dear Ann Krinsky Age Twenty | Ann’s Rants

You will spend years questioning yourself and your actress-turned-sales executive-turned-social-worker-slash-mother-turned-blogger-slash-writer-path. Yes, sales executive. In five years not only do you wed, but you also begin a career in advertising sales. Am I scaring the suspenders off of you, Ann Krinsky Age Twenty? Have faith. These skills you learn in theater bring you far—taking direction, improvisation, and especially the use of eyeshadow to make your nose appear smaller. I just killed your theater career dreams, didn't I. Don't cry Ann Krinsky Age Twenty. Use this devastation in Shakespeare class. You need it. Your childhood fared too comfortably for this serious acting business. Save those tears for ad sales. You'll be selling Dr. Laura. I'll leave it at that.

32 Things I’ve Learned about How to Be Happy | In Pursuit of Happiness

What I do, who I am, is someone who soaks up the world around me, someone who seeks happiness constantly. That hasn’t left me with a lot of money or a great skill that I can teach. It leaves me mainly with impressions, ideas, and experiences to share. It’s not much, but it’s what I have to give.


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