I’m a little bit Amish when it comes to soda and the kids. As a general rule, we don’t drink it. A couple weeks ago, we did an Eli’s Lid shoot and these adorable little vintage Coca Cola bottles were one of the props. After the shoot, we let the kids drink them. Somehow, it slipped my attention that the kids thought what they were drinking was beer. I guess they assumed so because beer is the only beverage they’ve seen Mark drink out of a glass bottle. I can see how they made the mistake, but unfortunately it slipped my attention so I didn’t correct them. India and Kembe were, apparently, completely convinced that they drank a beer that day.
Cut to last week. Mark was working late and we were in desperate need of groceries, so I decided we’d make a Target run with the kids. It took a little longer than I expected and we ran into the dinnertime hour, and I decided we’d just keep in really classy and eat dinner in the Target food area. I ordered the kids’ meals, and they came with a free fountain drink. For whatever reason, none of the drinks available were of the juice variety. It was either soda or tea, and being worried about caffeine, I let them all have a soda. I figured it would be a special treat. The kids were thrilled. So thrilled that they decided to express their pleasure in a voice loud enough for every shopper in Target to hear.
Kembe: “BEER?? We’re getting BEER? Yes!! I love beer!”
India: ”Mom, thanks for getting us beer!”
Me: Guys, that’s not beer. And please use your inside voice.
Kembe: Yes, this is beer! It’s beer and I love beer.
India: It’s what daddy drinks! Yum. This beer is so good.
Kristen: IT’S NOT BEER. It’s soda. Lower your voices.
India: Mommy, I know this is beer. I’ve had it before.
Me: When have you had beer?
India: That time someone took pictures of us. They took pictures of us with beer and then they let us drink it.
Me: WHAT? SOMEONE TOOK YOUR PICTURE AND GAVE YOU BEER? WHO DID THIS? WHAT HAPPENED? TELL MOMMY WHAT HAPPENED!
Kembe: That time with Eli and Cora.
Me: (heart rate resuming normalcy). Oh. Yes. You guys, that was Coke. Not beer. You’ve never had beer. This is called soda, okay??
A couple seconds later, loud enough for all to hear:
India: I love this straw! When I suck it, the beer goes around and around in circles. Look at my beer!