what i want you to know about my daughter's birth mother

What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by Jill Flockhart.


Some people are really curious about my daughters birth mother and I understand that. What I need you to understand is that I protect her to protect my daughter. My daughters birth mother is a very important piece of her history. This piece of history is a precious jewel that I will carry around for my daughter until she is ready to carry it herself. When I give my daughter this jewel, it will not be tarnished by your judgments or opinions.

I want you to know that it is never okay to disparage her birth mother. It is not okay to speculate. It is not okay to judge. In our house we speak of her in hushed and reverent tones. She is not the villain of our story, she is the hero. The unselfish, unsung hero. If you must know something about our birth mother, know that she is strong. Stronger, I think, than most. She is beautiful. I know this because my baby is the most beautiful child ever. She is brave, she is humble. She is loved.

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