What I want you to know about having a brother placed for adoption

What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by an anonymous reader.



My mum died in 2007, but she died with a weight off her shoulders. Her son, our brother, had found her 16 years before. It was a wonderful reunion and she and our brother "Sam" were just lovely together. She loved him and his family so much, and when they played on the piano together, you could see the family resemblance. We had a big family barbeque when mum was ready, and her brothers were there - and his wife was struck by their resemblance - tall, dark hair, aquiline noses. She said she'd never seen a family resemblance before.

I was told I had an "adopted out" brother by my half-sister, when I was very young. I was told this to hurt my mum. And I did. we were having a huge fight one day, and I mentioned that she had lied about me being her first child, and she just crumbled.

I spent part of my adolescence searching for him - I knew where he was born, but not when. This was because mum was not 18, as she told me, but 21. She thought I would despise her for being so naive....

I love my big brother, and I love my mum. She did not want to give him up, but she came from a strict background and in those days, you did what you were told. I am just so grateful that he found her (and us, his sisters) Well before she died. His oldest son (her oldest grandchild) is 21 as of yesterday, and her youngest grandbaby will turn three in June. I am the proud sister of my big bro, but I will never forget the burden that society put on my mum. Giving up her first-born for adoption almost ripped the heart right out of her.

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