What I want you to know about the ramifications of divorce on children

What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by Christina Lang.

I want you to know that my parents got divorced when I was 16, and at 33 years old, I still deal with the ramifications. It affects my relationship with my husband, my sex life, my parenting, and my relationship with my parents. People can be more supportive by living honestly in a world where divorce affects so many of us. It is so rampant, that it is almost silly to blame any issue on a divorce, yet I believe that it affects more than we are willing to face.

I want you to know that I have twin brothers who are both homosexual. We were raised in a Christian home. I wish people understood that my brothers are good people. They struggle everyday with their faith and their family. They do not think they will ever marry or have children. Their lives are so empty and there is nothing I can do about it. I wish people would stop judging them and our family. I especially wish that Christians would be as loving as they profess to be.

I want you to know that PADS (post adoption depression syndrome) is real and that it affects over half of moms that adopt. It can affect dads too. In our house, it affected both of us for about six months. We couldn't be honest with people around us because the last thing we needed was for people to have a reason to tell us 'I told you so.' So we suffered silently...sometimes even unable to express our own thoughts to each other. People in the adoption world need to be encouraged to share their feelings with someone safe so that they can work through the emotions.

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