What I want you to know about women who don't breastfeed

What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by Julia.




My intent when bringing my little dude into the world was OF COURSE I'LL BREASTFEED! However, the world had another plan. With him losing much weight near the beginning of life, and us having trouble finding a groove for many weeks... I made the heart wrenching decision to supplement, and then finally go completely to formula. I've not talked much about this, because the general consensus is that formula moms are lazy, and generally aren't conscious of the OMG HARM they are doing to their kid. Before I get into that, please note that my son (who is the cutest kid of all time) is doing great. He is well fed, meeting milestones, not overweight/underweight and probably will be a model for awesomeness. (Note: yes, breast feeding is best. No argument here.)


However, over the past few months I've fielded ignorant, judgmental comments about how awful it is to make that choice and I'm setting him up for basically failure.

What I got out of many articles about breastfeeding (admittedly, I'm defensive on the topic, and thus no doubt found it much more adversarial than most) was that breastfeeding was great (agreed) and if you don't it's cause you are lazy and don't try hard enough... not to mention that you don't love your kid. (Or love bonding with them.)

Speaking as a formula mother (and hopefully more of us will come out of the woodwork) my son and I bonded just fine, and we are in love with each other. Another side effect of bottle feeding is that not only am I in love with my son by sharing feeding time, but so is my husband.

So, those of you out there who:
-fought hard to breastfeed and couldn't...
-weren't able to make that choice because of circumstances out of your control
-adopted your little one, and thus it wasn't an option
or otherwise had to make a gut-wrenching choice.... You are ok. Your child is ok.

Those of you who are breastfeeding... good for you! I envy you. However, stop judging us. Or at least know that if you say something to us that is ignorant or hurtful, we will respond.

I love my son more than life itself, and to imply otherwise will awaken the beast. Remember, don't anger the makers of the tiny humans... they will eat you alive.

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