I’m really not a big football fan. Or any sport, really. I grew up in an artsy-fartsy family with only sisters, so sitting around and watching sports was just not something we did. Consequently, this resonates with me a whole lot:
I’m usually game for a Super Bowl party, though, because while I don’t enjoy sports, I do enjoy seven-layer-dip and talking. My friend Rebecca shares my lack of enthusiasm for sports so when she invited us over and said they had a bounce-house for the kids, it sounded like a win-win.
I found out who was actually playing in the Super Bowl as we arrived to the party. I was really just there to snark on the commercials . . . and according to twitter, I wasn’t alone. I was cracking up at the banter at each commercial break. I think we all needed the comic relief because MAN. A lot of those commercials were sending me into some serious existential angst. There was a lot of stuff about dads and sadness and life being too short. Like this Nissan commercial:
I thought there might be some redemption in the end . . . dad realizes that he’s missing his son grow up so he decides to opt out of his distant-father job or something but NOPE. Sorry, son. Dad’s too busy driving a car in circles to watch you grow up.
And then there was this maxi-pad commercial about fighting/running/hitting like a girl. I was determined it was not going to toy with my emotions but dammit if it didn’t hit me right in the feels.
Yes, I cried a little. But I blame my crying on the fact that I’m on my period. Products for which this was a commercial for. WELL PLAYED, ALWAYS.
And then, the biggest buzzkill of the day was this Nationwide commercial that we watched in horror.
Who wants more to drink? I DO!
So, to recap: being a parent is hard and you should try to be more present but why bother because they might die.
Thank goodness for the Pitch Perfect commercial or I may have hurled myself from the top of the bouncehouse.
Okay, let’s talk about intermission. (Or “half-time,” as I’m told it’s called.)
First Katy Perry came out riding what looked to be a leftover Mufasa prop from the Broadway version of The Lion King. But I love me some Julie Taymor, so whatevs. Then a quick costume change (HOW DID SHE DO THAT) and she emerged wearing what appeared to be a uniform from Hot Dog on a Stick.
Then Lenny Kravtiz came on and there was fire and I made a bunch of Hunger Games jokes, and then Missy Elliott came out to provide further contrast that Katy Perry cannot dance, and then Katy floated away on the icon from those The More You Know public service announcements.
I watched very little of the actual game, but due to the screaming of the men in the room, I did manage to pay attention to the last 10 minutes, where apparently one team basically handed the ball (and the win) to the other team, causing Richard Sherman to make this face, which will surely become the meme of the year:
And then there was a bunch of fighting, which all of my kids watched, but I explained that these guys were probably going to lose their ipad privileges for poor sportmanship, so lesson learned.
Still trying to figure out what analogy to use to explain the Fifty Shades trailer to the kids.