It started with a video I took Christmas morning of my girls opening their American Girl dolls Christmas morning. A couple weeks later a video went viral of two young white girls being gifted with black dolls and subsequently expressing their disapproval. I decided to upload a video of my girls receiving their dolls and the joy they felt as an alternative reaction.
The video of my girls was up for a week with very little fanfare, but then suddenly the video starting to get a ton of traffic, and with it, nasty comments. I was getting daily, and then hourly, comments about how disgusting I was, how my boys were going to kill me, how they would rape my daughters . . . all kinds of vile hate. Initially I was deleting the comments. Then they started coming in too swiftly for me to stay on top of it. I contemplated removing the comment option on the video, but then decided to leave it up. I wanted to write about what was happening, so that people could see this kind of overt racism in action in our “post-racial” society. But before I had time to do that, something else happened.
I finally figured out the source of all of the traffic on that video.
A prominent white supremacist “news outlet” had created a video defending the video of the girls reacting poorly to black dolls, making a case that it’s natural for children to only be attracted to dolls of their own race. The video attempted to debunk the famous doll study from the 50’s with all manner of pseudofacts, even suggesting that Martin Luther King Jr. was a puppet of the Communist party. After a tangent on the history of civil rights and the dangerous “Marxist” ideals of desegregation, we’re treated to about 5 minutes of irrelevant footage of white rappers that is, apparently, supposed to horrify us into realizing the ills of race-mixing. And then the video turned it’s attention on me . . . stealing footage from my own youtube channel, my blog, my TEDx talk, and the interview I did with Yahoo news. I was portrayed as a “nauseating” woman who hated her own race and who was training her daughters to be ashamed to be white. Which, listen. I do promote diversity. But I can also appreciate a good English scone, and I’ve never met a kale salad I didn’t like, which is about the Whitest thing anyone could ever eat. It’s possible to value diversity and enjoy your own heritage at the same time.
When I saw that this white supremacist organization had used images of my kids, without my permission, in a propaganda video for segregation, I was livid. So I took to twitter, asking both the organization and the “reporter” in the video, a woman by the name of Lana Lokteff, to remove the video. Until then, the harassment from racists had been contained to youtube, but me calling out these sacred cows of white supremacy on twitter created a firestorm. The racists circled their wagons on 4chan and other online white supremacy forums and came after me.
For several days, I fielded comments coming so fast that my twitter feed looked like the NYSE ticker. The comments all had a general, not-very-creative theme:
- I’m disgusting
- I’m teaching my white kids to hate themselves
- I’m probably Jewish
- I’m probably cheating on my husband with a black man
- My black children will sexually assault their siblings
That last one was the worst to stomach, but after the shock wore off, the absurdity of it sank in. These men (they are predominantly men) are totally obsessed with the sexual virility of black men. It’s fetish-level obsession. They just cannot stop thinking about black men, sexually. And yeah, it’s racist as hell. But it’s also all kinds of Freudian weird. They are seriously, seriously threatened by the idea that black men are getting more action than they are.
When I was a therapist, I saw a few clients who dealt with psychotic breaks, and several of the men struggled with the compulsive fear that they might cut off their own penis. The paranoia around black men that these guys hold . . . feels about at that level.
However, as ridiculous and ignorant as these people are, they are one thing: committed. Granted, this is probably because they are living empty lives with nothing better to do:
The harassment was coming in faster than I could report it, so I instead asked people to report the abuse that I retweeted. My friends rallied and a number of the worst offenders had their accounts suspended. I’m sure this post will bring a fresh wave, and I will continue to do the same.
Honestly, I am less bothered by the minions in this whole operation than I am with the leaders. By and large, the people harassing me on twitter seem like uneducated idiots. Most of them are anonymous and have under 50 followers. They are spewing talking points (which they can handily read through on their forums.) They are one-dimensional and their criticism is irrational and repetitive. Dealing with the on twitter is like swatting at flies. Oh, a picture of my black child with fried chicken superimposed on it? How original. Block and report.
But the leaders of this movement? They scare me. Case in point . . . Lana Lokteff, the shrill and smug host of the internet show that stole my content. She’s quite savvy at spinning a narrative to incite fear. She mocks the idea of systemic racism, pointedly mentions anyone who is Jewish, and refers to scientists who attempted to prove that race is merely a social construct as “bullshitters.” She suggests that the ideals of the civil rights movement were Marxist. And her twitter feed is a curated list of crimes committed by people of color – as if rounding up bad things that only people of color do is solid proof of her premise instead of a bad example of confirmation bias. But her minions buy it. (And probably don’t understand the concept of confirmation bias to begin with.) She presents her videos with a mix of history, politics, and science, relevance-be-damned, and speaks in a quick tone like she’s trying to imitate an episode of Crash Course in History. However, her “data” is full of holes. She presents something true and then projects people’s fears into an outlandish outcome. For example, she plays on the idea that eventually scientists will implant a chip into our baby’s brains to cure them of racism. Lana’s currency is fear and xenophobia, and her customers are people who aren’t smart enough to smell the bullshit.
Now, because I’m guessing the trolls will find their way over here, I’m going to address Lana’s minions who keep asking me why I won’t engage Lana in a debate on twitter. Let me try to break it down for you. A straw man argument is a logical fallacy in which one person introduces an idea into a debate that their opponent never even presented. For example, Lana has suggested that I don’t allow my girls to like white dolls. This isn’t true. I never said that. But it gets people riled up. Lana’s recent video about dolls was chock full of straw man arguments.So were ALL of her tweets to me. In fact, it is her main persuasion technique. If you can’t see that, you need to work on your critical thinking skills. But the reason I won’t be debating Lana is because I don’t engage in debates with people who rely on straw man arguments because it’s a waste of time. And an insult to my intelligence. And also because I have a very full life outside of the internet. You should try it!
I know the other question I will get: will this make me stop posting on the internet? No, it won’t. As I mentioned before, this is swatting at flies. I’ve got some plans in place to deal with a few of the offenders (remember, the internet is never as anonymous as you think), but I also think that this kind of harassment is always a possibility for people with a public platform. (Now that doesn’t mean that they deserve it . . . that’s victim blaming. But I’ve always been keenly aware that public criticism is a part of this gig.) I’ve always viewed my blog as a space to promote social justice and racial reconciliation, and this is not going to stop me.
At the end of the day, as my anger about the whole thing recedes, I really actually feel sad for these people. Sad for their miserable little lives in which trolling people with hate is fun. Sad for how sheltered they are. Sad that their world is so small. How pathetic it must be for them to spend their life avoiding things that involve non-European cultures. The experiences they will never have. The places they will never go. The people they will never meet. The food they’ll never eat.
As for me, I’m gonna put some Earth Wind and Fire on the stereo, pour myself a glass of French wine, fry up some Cuban-style tostones and Italian sausages and open a can of Indian chutney to dip them in, and I thank the Lord above that I’ve evolved way beyond the limiting mind of a white supremacist.
Kristen, I'm so, so sorry. I can't imagine going through all of that. Your adoptions have encouraged me so much. Thanks for sticking up for what's right.
I have followed your blog for a long time and you have been so helpful particularly informing me about ways to have thoughtful conversations about race with children. Thank you for standing boldly even as your family is targeted. You have really been a huge influence on my husband and I as we begin the adoption process and likely will adopt children of a different race than our own and helping us believe that with intention we can do it well.
I'm on your side. I give you a ton of credit for standing up for yourself and your values, for not taking things (too) personally, for explaining only what's necessary. As if you have a choice… People used to tell me (they still do) that I'm strong after all I've been through. I never saw that. It's either lay down and does or get up each day and face what's ahead of me best I can with the skills I have. Let me just say, you have a lot of skills. I applaud you, for what it's worth.
Andrea
Keep on keeping on. Your children are wonderful.
Get it, girl. Don't let the haters get you down. You write Truth. Truth is scary to evil-doers. Keep scaring them.
Yes. I stand with you.
We need more voices like yours. Thank you for not letting some uneducated hateful bullies control your content. I'm truly sorry for the awful things posted by them. I spent a good amount of time the other day reporting the trolls. Appreciate your blog. Keep on mama. Your family is beautiful.
I am a half Mexican who married a full Samoan, with a beautiful mixed race little boy. My college alone had 71 different countries represented there, and was the most loving, accepting place I had ever been. I can't even express how rich my life has been with all the different cultures we as a family experience. The hate some people posses is beyond me, and I love that you are putting them in their place! Now, I am off to create a Twitter account to report these haters 🙂
That is the craziest thing I have ever heard. Support from in the most racist state, Alabama
I'm so sorry this is happening to your family, Kristen! Please remember that there are many multiples more of us who love and respect you and turn to you for guidance. So thank you for being brave against hatred and continuing to be a voice for reason, compassion, and peace. With love and solidarity from Baltimore, Katherine
I kind of love you. Good for you for not feeding into it and stooping to their level. Stay strong – you and your family are an inspiration!
Oh Kristen, this is so awful and disgusting. You have a gorgeous family, and I love seeing your sweet posts. The joy and love your kids have for each other and you is apparent in every photo. It is just heartbreaking to know that there are so many sad, sick people out there…
You are who I want to be when I grow up.
You GO Kristen! Been following you for years and think you're GREAT.
Thank you for sharing your life with us,Kristen. It angers and sickens me when I read of such hate and ignorance and the attacks on you and disgusting ways these people are using your family as their forum for spreading more hate and ignorance. As the mother of a mixed daughter, I've witnessed this kind of stuff first hand but nowhere near this level.God bless you and keep you and your family safe. Keep sharing your life with those of us who celebrate what you stand for, and don't let the haters stop you and your beautiful family from being who you are! God bless and keep you and yours! <3
I think you are my hero ?
I am so sorry for all of this awfulness. Thank you for posting about it, and for all of your other wonderful posts that my friends (those who identify as Christian and those who don't) often post.
Would you consider editing out the part of this post that you consider mean? I suspect it will trigger so many of us that have shame issues about weight.
Thanks for reading this, and thank you again for all of your wonderful posts and for the way that you publicly live out your faith.
Bravo, Kristen Bravo! We love and believe in you! Praying for your accusers, that their minds would somehow be free from the prison of hate and distortion. Praying for you your tribe and all God has done and will do thru each of you. Love, David & Amanda Purvis
Awesome. So sorry to hear all this crap. My daughter is black and has white and black dolls and white and black friends, so I am just as horrible as you!
Don't stop. Great, thought provoking read. You're doing it right!
And may you have peace while you do that! Bless you.
You are amazing. Thank you for putting up a fight
Wow… I am so very sorry that you have had to deal with such simple minded people. It's extremely SAD that in 2016 this is happening and that there are so many ignorant people, with access to the Internet. We'll pray for you and your beautiful family and for them as well…
Not to focus on the lewdest part of this, but that's what's stood out to me the most: the absolute obsession these men have with the notion of black male virility. These pathetic shitbirds are clearly mortified by their own sexual uselessness, and are somehow angry at black men for um…being their opposites? There's no logic, just fear and weeeeird subconscious jealousy. Or homosexuality. Or both.
Devastating to read what you've been facing. Very proud to hear that you plan to stay the course. Sending a big hug to you & lots of support from Miami, FL.
Yes!!! When you are under attack, It's easy to get lost in your head and wonder if everyone is crazy and I'm here to remind you that you are not. The hatred that you're experiencing is just that, and I feel sorry for those racists too. Thanks for sharing your story and we are sending you and your fam lots of good vibes:) keep up your great work.
my first doll was "black." My mom gave it to me as a baby, and I was born in 1967. The doll was made by a company called Operation Bootstrap. She has her little outfit too. I hate to think I've ever been prejudiced in my life, but I'll steal a phrase a friend of mine used to say, "I'm only prejudiced against prejudiced people."
Good for you. They win when voices are silenced.
I would trade ethnic food out for Rapeugees any day of the week. Dont think that its only white supremicists who feel this way, its actually the silent majority. Most men who feel this way have a job with children and dont even go to the internet unless its for something functional. Also, there are many white men with huge confident penises that dont want to see their race die. Im one of them, so to me your arguments just sound silly.
Love this and your blog!
So sorry you have been singled out by these idiots. I always shake my head when other white people say racism is dead in America. My daughters are mixed so I know firsthand racism is alive and well.
You point out that lana's data is full of holes, yet don't spend any of your blabbering refuting her so-called holes with facts.
All of this is crazy Kristen. Thank you for your well articulated account and for your courage to take on people with such hate in their hearts. I can't imagine the toll that this has taken on you, Mark and the kids. PTL you walk in faith and have the Word to lean into as you walk this journey. May God continue to bless you and I pray that even if just one person has a change of heart, the battle is won!
Very insightful artical. I am sorry you are experiencing all of this hate. Yet, it's good that you toughen up now because on some level, your Black children will experience this for life and they will need you. Praying for God's Blessings to be bestowed upon you.
I am a professor. I teach leadership and diversity. I would invite you to speak to my class, if I could. Instead, I'm going to use this post as a conversation starter! I am so sorry you are experiencing this. It makes me ache.
Wow.
Standing ovation, very well served.
You go girl.
I really like this post….im sorry that your children were used as pawns in this racist bullshit game of chess…but just the simple fact that you took them in taught the kids you already had the biggest lesson on equality and love that you could ever teach! The world is full of really fucked up people..of all races..but to make children the object of ridicule because of the color of their skin is beyond sick!!! We live in a day where peole claim that racism is a thing of the past and that black people are just playin the "woah is me" roll…but things like this happen every day…not only do these ignorant uneducated pieces of shit have organizations…but now with the internet they have a means to mass promote thier propaganda…they have the opportunity to get to your childrens minds!!! It is our jobs as parents to teach our children to steer clear of that type of bullshit! I myself was raised in a household of biggotry beliefs…but as i grew older i was able to see through the bullshit and make my own
Opinion of things!anyways thanks for being one of the very few to teach their children to judge by the content of character and not by the color of skinn!✌
Great in depth response explaining the details of the last few weeks. I have had a few comments on my blog post about it but not so many that I can't just trash them. Amazing how blind people can be to how their lives have become so warped.
What a sad reality. I thought we had moved past this world. Now the idiots are all hiding behind computer screens. I adopted a black baby. I also have 2 biological kids who are white. This post hits on my worst fears for my daughter. I want to put her in a bubble now. Don't be mean to my baby! I hope you have legal grounds to stop them. I would try.
These people are angry at you because you use your children as props in an attempt to gain moral superiority on the Internet.
"Looks at me everyone, I gave my White kids Blacks dolls. I'm so progressive and tolerant. I adopted Black kids. Look how not racist I am. I'm better then everyone else because I promote Black culture and people. Please praise me."
I've never commented before but want you to know that I appreciate your work a lot and am very thankful you won't be giving up as a result of this experience.
Thank you Kristen. I'm sorry there are such ignorant people in this world. You have a beautiful family! Much love to you and yours.
You're so brave!
Good for you in being able to rise above their hate and fearmongering. I belive Samuel Clemmens (aka Mark Twain) said that international travel was lethal to bigotry and suggested it (travel) become mandatory for all citizens in order to promote informed decision making skills. While that may not be practical going to college at a school more than 6 hours away from home would be equally beneficial
Yes. Multiracialism is all about food… You've got it all worked out. Those racists from dailystormer.com & the Right Stuff are just idiots coz their missing out on a the fine cuisine. I agree with you entirely, but I'm not sure why you married a white man & gave birth to two white children. Social justice is about blending race out altogether…
I'm not sure if you are moderating the comments or if I am the only comment.
It truly disgusts me that we have such racists in America, but I'm not surprised. I have noticed the same issues with people I used to admire. Seeing it saddens me. Not just because we have racism in 2016. Unfortunately, we have too many stupid people who are unable to do a simple Google search and learn about others around them. What really upsets me is that they aren't able to see their racist bias. I can understand not doing one's own research. But, I can't understand bullying a child nor their refusal to see their speech for what it is; hate.
As far as your beautiful girls and their lovely gifts. I happened to love the video of your girls, and I think it shows a beautiful message.
Just saying.
You decadent bourgeois liberals live in some kind of bizarre fantasy world. Purchasing two male picaninnies and placing them under the same roof with your small White daughters…How could any mother in her right mind expose her own children (or herself)to such danger????? In a just and sane society this kind of outrage wouldn't be tolerated.
And shame on you for maligning the character of Ms. Lokteff, she is a sweet and soft-spoken young lady – something which I suspect you are anything but.
Un-be-lievable. I thought this story was just a joke intended to demonstrate how idiotic liberals can be. Well, as long as you've managed to impress all of your 'progressive' white and jewish colleagues by sacrificing your own kids on the altar of Cultural Marxism I suppose that's all that really matters to you.
PS: Please give my regards to your husband, Mr. Kristen Howerton.
PPS: I'm not a member of the Manson "Family".
Why has Lana's video triggered you so much? There are millions of people who feel exactly how she does and you just can't seem to be on with that.
The title of your video that you gave your daughters "black dolls" is an outright fallacy. You know this, Kristen.
Your M.O. seems to be moral and status signalling.
Try some analytical thinking instead of the Fraudian variety.
Posting pictures of chocolate covered bananas and talks about "converting to the dark side" are risque black penis humor.
Posting pictures of your preteen white girls in bed with shirtless black teens….hmmm…nothing risque there either i guess.
You definitely don't have the higher moral ground as you keep signalling.
Where is your man in all of this?
If you truly wish to have honest debate and have racial reconciliation then I implore you to post my previous comment, Kristen.
"I’ve got some plans in place to deal with a few of the offenders (remember, the internet is never as anonymous as you think)"
Is it really worth it? If the people you are dealing with are such losers and flies then what good will trying to defame, libel, and I am betting will be attempts to destroy their livelihoods and make them even more adverse to you going to be?
You put your entire life in the public domain, Kristen. You use it to promote your ideological, political, and moral agenda.
Nobody is shutting you down and you have no right to shut anyone else down.
You are not evolved higher than anyone. You merely think differently. Your assertion as such is more status and moral signalling that won't help what I believe you are truly trying to achieve.
I don't hate you. I only wish you would be this passionate about your tens of thousands of years of genetic evolution.
In order for us to celebrate diversity we shouldn't go destroying it by mixing into one race for the cabalists and talmudists to rule over.
Why cannot white European people be proud without being labelled Nazis, racists, haters?
When was the last time you heard china, Japan, korea, etc are not diverse enough? Their governments are too asuan! More white people should be forced into their governments and corporations!
It really is this simple.
There is much to talk about and I can say that, aside from the bizarre black penis and turning to dark side risque humor you are posting, I think you could actually be a bridge between races, especially the age old black/white bridge.
Do you have the courage and the evolved mind to do so?
Stop signalling superiority. It's having the opposite effect on millions of people.
Your daughters will one day resent you and that is NOT what I wish on you or your family.
By the way. Kristen. It's tens of thousands of proud Europeans, not hundreds.
Those numbers are only those willing to speak up. We number in the millions and millions.
Other than MSM lies are you paying ANY attention what is happening in Europe at present?
Barbara Lerner Spectre will shine light on why a civil war on several fronts is brewing.
Look her up. Her famous video. Then connect the dots ofbehat ethnicity is ADMITTEDLY destroying Europe.
They admit it because of the enormous power they world at present.
The same wars are being fomented here at home. You are serving to accelerate this unavoidable consequence.
All people should have a right to self determination, not just non whites.
Be well.
Bravo!
Good for you! I am very happy to see you haven't succumbed to the bullying and harassment. Science has shown that kids don't even notice different races until they are 5. Just as they don't notice that girls and boys are different until they are 5. These are approximate of course as each child is unique and wonderful. Having had my kids in a very multicultural neighbourhood, most of their friends were of other races, usually black but also Indian, Guyanese, etc. They did not even notice. They did not care. Neither did their friends until they all got older and adults told them to notice and care. It is values that are important, not skin colour. I am so happy to see that your children are being raised with good ones.
Yes. This is magnificent. Found through Design mom and I've loved every word. Keep your courage close, friend!
you are worthless
Thank you for posting this! I came across a post by that Lana lady on Twitter, and could not believe the amount of racist and antifeminist things she posts! I Googled her name to see if such a vile person could be real, and came across your page. Stay strong and keep up the good fight! I'm glad you stood up for yourself, and walked away the better person!
You are an awful person, it appears. So are they, but, chriat.
Thank you for this excellent piece! And bless you for raising your children to embrace diversity & training them to think & reason. This ability seems to be lost in today's society.
I am someone who would describe themselves as identitarian. I am beginning to believe that my people, white people, will only be able to survive and thrive if we have a place of our own, or at least begin putting our interests ahead of everyone else's. That being said, I'm terribly sorry such vitriol was directed at your family. This is a complex issue, but there is really no excuse for the kind of behavior exhibited by those people. I just wanted you to know that not all of "us", for lack of a better term, are like that at all.
I am someone who would describe themselves as identitarian. I am beginning to believe that my people, white people, will only be able to survive and thrive if we have a place of our own, or at least begin putting our interests ahead of everyone else's. That being said, I'm terribly sorry such vitriol was directed at your family. This is a complex issue, but there is really no excuse for the kind of behavior exhibited by those people. I just wanted you to know that not all of "us", for lack of a better term, are like that at all.