Gaining confidence in your forties

This post was sponsored, and paid for, by Suntrust's OnUp campaign. All opinions are my own.

Confidence can be elusive. It is a difficult thing to achieve. I have found that throughout my life, I have struggled with confidence. I have a terrible habit of comparing myself to others. I catastrophize and minimize my own accomplishments. I often feel like I am not measuring up.

However, I have found that confidence is easier to achieve in my 40s. I have learned to let myself off the hook more. I have learned that perfectionism is not an achievable goal. And honestly, I have also just learned to stop worrying about what other people think.

In my 40th year, I started a band with the purpose of singing old-school hymns in bars. We call it, simply, Beer & Hymns. What started as a group of about 40 friends has grown into a monthly gathering that fills some of the hippest bars in our town to capacity. It's a blast. But I had to overcome some hurdles in my confidence in order to do it.



First, I had to deal with my fears of failure. What if no one came? What if it was a disaster? What if people thought it was stupid? I had to let all of that go. I had to remind myself that even if it was just myself and a few friends having fun, that it was all worth it.

Then, I had to get over my fears of being on stage again. I was a singer and performer when I was younger, but it had been a really long time for me. I stopped singing in my late 20s when I started a family. Being on stage again was daunting. I was intimidated and nervous. But the more we have done it, the more my confidence grew. Two years in, and I am no longer nervous to be on stage. I'm just having a blast, and loving that the audience is having fun with me.



In 2016, SunTrust launched the OnUp Movement to inspire Americans to take a step towards financial confidence. Their philosophy is that financial confidence helps to boost our overall confidence. I have certainly found this to be true as well. There is no stress like financial stress. It can hold us back from pushing ourselves and trying new endeavors. When we are overwhelmed with financial concerns, it can consume our creative energy, our joy, and our confidence. On the converse, when we feel good about our finances, it trickles into other aspects of our life.

For me, financial confidence has looked like downsizing in an effort to achieve better work/life balance. A large part of that was the decision to sell our home and downsize into a home with a smaller mortgage. Life has felt much less stressful since making that decision, and I feel like our finances are no longer a major life stressor. This frees up brainspace to think about goals and creative endeavors that are more personal, which in turn helps my overall confidence.

April is Financial Literacy Month, and the perfect time for us to talk about financial confidence—to focus on what it means, what it looks like, and how we all can achieve it. At SunTrust Bank their purpose is lighting the way to financial well-being. When you feel confident about your money, you can save for your goals and spend knowingly on what matters most to you.  

The onUp Movement is 1 million strong…and growing. onUp is about having the confidence to move forward one smart step at a time. Join now and start building your financial confidence today.
Join the movement.  This is a sponsored conversation written by me on behalf of SunTrust. The opinions and text are all mine.




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